The Decision

Lately I have been trying to make a big decision.  A very hard decision.  My daughter will be moving back to Tulsa soon so that means I will have this big old house and large yard all to myself.  It takes two days and sometimes two and a half days just to do the mowing and trimming and with my asthma and allergies, I have thought that I might try to sell the place and move into an apartment in town.  I won't move to Tulsa but there is a nice little town about 8 miles north of me that has everything I need and since I already bank there and do most of my shopping there, it would be the ideal location.

But my dilemma is that for the last several years and mean several, I have always lived in a rural area away from town and always had a lot of room on each side so my neighbors weren't right next door.  I've enjoyed the solitude and when my husband was here, we both enjoyed being out away from the hustle and bustle. 

But now I am left with this big house and yard and outbuildings and I really don't need all this space or the maintenance that comes with home ownership.  I've put the figures together several times and I could live in a rented apartment for about the same that it costs me to live here.  Of course, this house is paid for so there is no mortgage payment but there is insurance and taxes and high utility bills plus all the maintenance, so I would be transferring where the money is spent, primarily.

The next big obstacle in this decision making is what do I keep and what do I dispose of.  I have a houseful of furniture and most of it has to go.  Along with all the little knick knacks I've collected through the years and assorted junk.  I've walked through the house making note of what is absolute in keeping and what is on the questionable list.

I definitely will keep all the family pieces plus a couple of the antiques we have retained and there are a few things my husband made that I just can't part with but again something will have to go.  I don't want to rent a storage shed as that is just another cost plus the security isn't all that great unless it is one that I can see personally. 

So that means that I am thinking of a 2 bedroom even though it will run a little more, but I really need the extra room for storage and will be used for the computer and my sewing machine and all my fabric and yarn and thread for my crocheting.  I will still have some things that I will have to store, like the Christmas and other holiday decorations.

And speaking of Christmas decorations, since I go all out and really light up the place around here.  I have at least 10 if not a dozen tubs full of decorations and lights, cords and outlets and you name it, I have it.  That will have to be cut down and again, there are certain things I will keep so it will be hard to dispose of the others.  My daughters will have to take their share of the china.  Once I pack it up for them, I won't store it for them so it will be up to them to take it and store it or use it or whatever.  I have several other things I was going to pass down so they will have to take them or they will be put out at the sale.

And that is another thing.  The sale.  I can't decide if I should use an auctioneer and keep my fingers crossed it will be a good sale or just try to advertise and sell it all myself.  I could have a weekly yard sale and still have stuff left over so it is a big problem.  We downsized when we moved here but we still brought a lot with us and as it goes with everyone, we have added to it as well.

So what to do?  I've had someone show interest in the house but doesn't mean they will buy it or when.  And I'm not sure if I could sell it.  I'm going to ask a ridiculously low but reasonable price and it will be a bargain if someone pays what I'm asking.  We bought it more or less on a "fire sale" basis and so that is what I will try to sell it for.  And I'm throwing in a few incentives to make it more attractive, like the golf cart, riding mower and even the generator if they will pay my price.  If not, then we will have to negotiate.

As I told my oldest daughter last night, I think the reason the decision is so hard is that I have never had to make a decision like this by myself.  My husband and I always made the decisions together but now I don't have anyone but myself.  I don't want to feel I made a mistake after I've done it but at the same time, I'm not sure how long I can really stay here and keep it up.

This was our retirement home and it has a lot of good and bad and sad memories.  I will have to part with a lot of things I've enjoyed through the years but maybe it is time for it.  Sooner or later, it would all have to be sorted and gone through and sold or what ever and it would be up to my daughters to do all of that, so maybe I should do it now and give them what I want them to have, keep what I absolutely need and want and let the rest go.

It is a decision that is hard to make and I go from day to day trying to make up my mind.  Looking at the pros and cons and trying to see what is the best solution.