We have our children and we watch them grow, wishing they were bigger when they are little and then wishing they were little once they are young adults. But all the while, we still enjoy them from birth to that first step out on their own.
It is hard when that high school graduation comes and you watch that child you have raised from a tiny squirming baby into a smart and anxious to meet the world young adult. You wish you could find a way to keep them just a little longer and they are just waiting to get out there and show the world they are adults and can make it on their own.
Some do succeed the first time out, while others might have to retreat back home to regroup and start over but eventually they do leave the nest and are on their own. And we watch with pride as they take off in their next chapter of their lives with jobs, more schooling or even marriage and a family. They may have left the nest but at the same time we still have a tiny string attached.
Whether they want to admit it or not, they won't let go of that string either. Things happen in their lives that no one can foresee and that string is their lifeline to go home when they have no place else to go.
This happened to my family. The youngest daughter came home, even moving out of state to stay with us until she could get on her feet and resume her life. The oldest had married and was doing well even after a divorce and starting out on her own. But the company she worked for sold out and she was out of a job. She continued to try to make a go of it with part time work and unemployment while she looked for a job but it became evident that she would have no choice but to sell off all her belongings except for a few personal items and to let her house go.
She was so excited when she bought her home and we were excited for her but when that day came that she had to walk away, we told her we were here and she could come here. We call it a twist of fate as we planned for her to buy a trailer to set up next to our house and stay until she could find work and get back on her feet, but then we got the word that my husband was seriously ill.
So coming home was a two fold event. We were going to help her by giving her a place to live and she would be here to help with her father. And when he passed, she remained to be here for me. We gave each other support as she found a job and worked, knowing that one day she would return to the larger city from where she had moved from because eventually the work would be there and it was where her friends were and it was her home too.
That day came a little sooner than I expected but she had the opportunity for a job and to find a place to live and so she packed up what few items she had in a U-haul and sold the trailer and today she left her job here to go to her new place and get settled over the weekend and start her new job the first of the week.
I've tried to prepare for this but it is hard knowing that I won't be seeing her come home from work, or visiting with her in the trailer or here in the house. Our little outings to the store or to go out to eat will be missed as well. Even though we were close, we had our space but at the same time we were just a few feet away and when we needed to talk or just to listen to music and relax, we did it.
Now, I go out there and I see the spot where the trailer sat for a year and a half and it looks so bare and it is hard to believe it is gone. But the grass will return and one day there won't be any sign that the trailer sat there and she was so close.
The empty nest syndrome has hit again. We are much older but at the same time, she still is my child, maybe not a young one just starting out as she has her own child, a soon to be 21 year old. But we had a second chance and now she has flown the coop again. I'm sad but at the same time I'm happy for her. I want what is the best for her and this move is for the best.
So I can sit here and mope or I can pick myself up and stay busy, visit with my friends and look forward to the visits I'll have from her and my other daughter and my grand kids. The nest may be empty but the string is still attached and I know they will be here to visit and that is the way it should be. They each have their own lives and the lives of their children as it is a never ending circle.
One day they will experience the empty nest and I hope they will look at it as I do. It may be empty now, but it is always home and they are always welcome and there is the telephone.
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