AN EVIL BULLY

Definition per Webster's New Revised Edition.

 

evil - adj. Morally bad or wrong, causing injury or other undesirable result; marked by misfortune or distress, low in public esteem.  One Satan.

bully - n. A person who is mean or cruel to weaker people.

The description fits my neighbor to a tee.  He is one of these people who thinks he knows more than anyone else, can do more and better than anyone else and that all his possessions are the best, whether they are or not, they are his so that means it is better than anyone else.  I should also add liar to that description because he is the biggest liar and teller of stories.  He will exaggerate any incident making sure the victim or the person who was wronged was rightfully wronged and that the person who did it, most of the time him, is right and there should be no question because he said so.

I have lived here for over 7 years, long before he moved in and yet he seems to think that he owns the neighborhood and he is the lord and master and all shall bow down to him and do his bidding without question and that he has the right to infringe upon the property of others without invitation, to do whatever he wants to do.  He also thinks it is his right to tell his neighbors how they should live, how they should mow their yards, plant their flowers, paint their houses and in general to allow him to control them.

When my husband was alive, we didn't have much problem as my husband who was honest and forthright would tell him when he was out of line and the bully would back down.  He asked my husband if he could hook on to our well and that he would pay us for the extra electric usage and then proceeded to run the well day and night causing problems.  My husband advised that if he wanted to use it to water his garden or plants once a day that was fine but that he could not allow him to use it to water his whole yard plus the yard of his neighbor who was a relative and to use it 24 hours a day.  It caused some friction for a while but he got over it and there was no more mention of it.  The friction was that he was not able to have free water and so he was upset over it.

My husband had a wood shop and occasionally the neighbor would come over, more out of curiosity than anything and beg for a piece of wood so he wouldn't have to go to town for one board or he would want my husband to cut something for him.  Generally my husband would cut something but seldom gave him any lumber since he knew it would never be returned and he had gone to town to buy it himself.  Yet this neighbor expected him to share.

Eventually he realized that he could not bully or control my husband but there were no words between them or any retaliation of any kind.

However, after my husband passed away in January 2010, things changed.  Even though my daughter was living here at the time and helping me if I needed it which for the most part I didn't.  My husband always thought that I should know how to do things or fix things or at least be familiar with them in case he wouldn't be around even though neither one of us ever thought he would go so fast.  He made sure I had a new mower and tools that I needed and that I knew how to use them and to take care of them.  He also made sure that I knew who to call when there was a problem I could not handle.  At no time did he ever talk down to me or treat me as if I didn't have any sense, nor did he ever bully me or belittle me.  We had over 48 years together and he treated me as his partner and even though I did depend on him, we both knew that I could handle it on my own.

But this neighbor decided on his own, that I was a dumb, defenseless, helpless widow who needed him.  WRONG!  I had to repeatedly tell him to get off my property when he would come over to mow and he scalped my yard so bad since he believed in cutting his grass low, he thought everyone should and I didn't have the same type of grass he had so it died out and left bare spots which are just now filling in after over a year.  He didn't do this just once, but three times and the last time I cursed at him and told him to get off my property or I would call the sheriff and have him removed.  It really ticked him off but he has stayed off.

Instead, he will come to the fence which by the way is mine, and call me over to tell me that it is time I mowed as my weeds are getting into his yard.  And now he is saying that because it is dry and he can't afford to water since he has to pay the bill for water, that it is my fault that his yard is dying because my yard is dying.  Excuse me.  I have no control over the weather and I cannot afford to water an acre of land so I rely on mother nature and rainfall.  But I'm not alone as most of my neighbors are experiencing the same thing because of the heat and drought.

My well is not working now.  We aren't sure but it is possible the motor is burned out as it was making noises and not pumping very good before my husband passed on and so he turned it off before winter and when we attempted to turn it on again in the spring, it will not work.  I do not see the neighbor coming forth to help pay for repairs that were probably caused because of his abuse to the well.  In fact, he will not even mention using it so I think he knows he is responsible.  But I've never said a word to him about it or even asked him to pay for anything.  I've just kept it off and have to rely on our rural water system which is costly if I use it to water much.

He started last fall complaining about all my cats.  He would look into my yard seeing them and then call me over to the fence and tell me they were coming over to his house and tearing up his things.  He has three dogs and a cat of his own so I don't know how he knows it is only my cats that are doing all he says.  Seeing how I've seen his dogs jump up on the yard swings and his cat has walked all over them and even on the cover over them and yet he claims it is my cats doing it.  Guess I'll have to get a picture to show him.

Anyway he has yelled at me, threatened me by telling me that he will kill my cats if they get into his yard and that he will sic his dogs on them.  I try to keep them home but a cat will roam and mine aren't the only ones in the neighborhood but to him, they are and he is bound determined to get rid of them.

He has set up a trap and we know that he has trapped three of them, with him telling one neighbor that he was taking it down to the lake.  They saw the cat in the cage and when he returned later, it was gone and then he bragged that he would lock up his dogs, bait the trap and catch them and he was going to get rid of all my cats one way or the other.

This is one of his ways of bullying.  He cannot control me or make me do what he says or allow him to do what he wants on my property so he knows that it will upset me and make me angry and so what better way to "get even."

I can't stop him from setting up the cage and it is hard to prove that he is actually enticing them over to his property to catch them and I have called the sheriff to file a complaint and to let them know that he is only doing this to intimidate and ire me and as hard as it will be, I have to look the other way and not speak to him or have contact with him and if he persists in speaking to me other than a casual greeting, then I am to call the authorities as it is a form of harassment.

The evil part comes as I sat out on my porch the other night and watched as he took an air rifle and fired at a cat walking down the street, not even close to his house and when it jumped the fence into another neighbor's yard, their dog began to chase it.  This evil bully stood on his porch with his hands crossed on top of his fat belly and gave the most evil laugh I've ever heard.  He thought it was the funniest thing he ever saw and his wife was sitting there listening and didn't say a word.

This same man who as I said thinks he is so smart and knows more and can do more is one who will go to another resident in the area and take his tractor or to another to get his kubota after the county had put down gravel on our road, to push it around close to his driveway to fill in and build it up.  He has used the tractor during our big snow storm to clear the road, leaving a huge pile of snow at the end of my drive after my daughter hand dug it out so we could get a vehicle out.  There was over 2 ft. of snow on the ground and she worked hard only to have him block us in.  Then he got angry when I asked him to clear it and pushed it back into my yard, leaving a deep gash where he dug down and took grass and dirt along with the snow drift.  Again, I kept my composure even though it was hard and didn't make a case out of it but because I asked him to do something after he thought he had done such a fantastic job of clearing the road, it angered him so I kept quiet and knew that come spring time I could fill in the gouging and hoped he wouldn't do it again.

I try not to let the petty things bother me but when they just keep compounding and each time they get a little worse, then it is time to call him out.  And this time I did.  He will probably really retaliate now since I've called the sheriff and had a confrontation with him over this incident.

I must also say that I'm not the only neighbor that has a problem with him but I seem to suffer the most since I'm right next door but he has also tried to tell them that they need to do things or how to do things and he has been ordered off their property just as he has mine.  He borrowed a trailer from another neighbor and somehow damaged the the part that hooks on to a vehicle.  He attempted to repair it but it does not work right and has to be chained down and even then not safe so for all purposes, the trailer is ruined and he never said a word.  He took it back when the neighbor was gone and parked it in his yard without a word and later when asked, at first pretended he didn't know but later said it was minor and he fixed it and let it go.

But what to do about this kind of neighbor is perplexing to say the least.  I will do as the sheriff's deputy advised and not speak or have contact with him but my heart will break each time I see him carting off one of my cats or doing harm to them.  He is a cruel sick evil man who claims he loves animals, but the only ones he cares about is his own.  He carries the cheapest dog treats he can buy and will drive around the area in his golf cart throwing them over fences to other people's dogs and yet no one is allowed to give his dogs a "treat".  He has ruined dogs that have been trained to be watch dogs as he is gaining their trust and he even encouraged one of my dogs to climb the fence to get into his yard and then he played with her.  He even went so far as to throw a dog toy into my yard as he told me that she loved it so much that she could have it.  I threw it back and told him to keep his dog toys and not to encourage her.  He just laughed and told me he liked to play with her.  I had to find another home for her since he had taught her how to climb the fence and had ruined her for a watch dog for me.

I hate to think about selling my home to move elsewhere as it will only make him think he won and that he was smart enough to make me leave here.  I will not give him that satisfaction.  It may be hard for me emotionally but I will pray for the strength I need to keep my distance from him and hope that maybe one day he will realize that no matter what he does, it will make no difference so all the "fun" will go out of trying to upset me.  He is an evil bully who I now call the "whacko" as I really think he has lost his mind and senses and is just an old cruel man who must hate himself as well to be so hateful to all his neighbors.