The Countdown Begins

The countdown has begun.  I spent this entire weekend working outside putting up lights and Christmas decorations.  Saturday was a little on the cool side and quite windy but I managed to get some of it done but today was sunny, warm and windy.
I told my daughter I thought Kansas had moved to Oklahoma the way the wind was blowing and I wish it would go home.  I literally had to stake and tie all my decorations out in the yard to keep them from blowing over or away.
But the wreaths have been hung on the gates, the lights are all along the fence, took 12 strings of 100 lights each but it almost covers the entire length.  The lighted garland is draped around the screened in porch with its big gaily red bows.
The Nativity set is up flanked by the Peace On Earth Angels in the north yard, while the south yard displays a winter wonderland with the 7 ft. tall spiral trees, two reindeer, a snowman and a grouping of three small white trees, all with white lights.
The candy cane lights are along side the patio and extension area on the north side of the porch and are off set by the snowmen lights that daughter put in front of her trailer on the south side of the porch.
The pot on the shepherd's hook has red poinsettias with green holly and a holly vine twines up and around the top with two red bows at the feet of the roosters which are attached to the top heart shape.
The cords have been laid and only have to attach the automatic timers so on Thursday night when darkness arrives, the magic begins for a four hour show.
Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm done.  I still have the snowflake lights, the small train and Santa's sled to put up and light up as well.
On Wednesday night, the fun begins inside as the tree goes up and will be decorated so again on Thursday night the lights will shine and it can be seen from its place in front of the window.  The house will begin to take on the look of the Christmas holiday as the Santa collection comes out, the Nutcracker collection will be displayed, the pots with poinsettia's scattered about, green garlands decorating the stairway bannister and every room in the house will have some decoration denoting the season.
The library table will be covered with the lacy scarf that has the Nativity story and on top will be displayed the antique Nativity that belonged to my grandparents, the first one that my husband and I bought along with a couple of others we've bought throughout the years and the Bible will be open to the story of the birth of Jesus.  It is almost a ritual as the table is set up with the Nativities and the story is read and made available to all who wish to read it again and again.
The packages will start piling up under the tree with the anticipation setting in as to what their contents might be and the guessing game starts.
It is an exciting time of the year with so much to see and hear and feel.  The excitement of driving around to see the lights and displays, shopping for that perfect gift, the smell of freshly baked cookies and pies, the sounds of Christmas songs and carols being played and a general feeling of love and contentment.
Although I have no little ones to go see Santa, I still enjoy watching the little ones as their eyes light up and the smiles on their faces when they see a Santa in the store or in a parade.   And even at my age, I still believe.  Santa is the fun part of Christmas just as Jesus is the reason we celebrate his birthday and we rejoice in hearing the story of his birth.
It is a glorious time of the year, even more exciting and filled with anticipation than Easter or the Fourth of July.
I wish I could keep Christmas year round with all the bright sparkling lights and decorations.  The colors of red and green are an inspiration for me and the houses look so pretty all decked out in their holiday finery.  It is that time of year when we gather with family or friends for parties or dinners and the sound of laughter makes the merriment of the season even more so.
So the countdown has begun and will go for me until after the New Year arrives.  I try not to think about the day that the lights go dark and will be gathered and put away until next year.  I'm just going to enjoy every minute of every day and take in all the sights, sounds, smells and the joy of the season.
This will be my first Christmas without my husband but I know he is with me in spirit and he will be in my thoughts as I look around and see the favorite things we both enjoyed through the years as well as his favorite things.  He enjoyed the season as much as I do and always let me decorate to my heart's content and I'm not going to change a thing this year.  I know he would want it that way too.

Time

I can't believe how fast the time is going.  I meant to post something on the 11th and time has got away from me.

November 11, is a special day as it is not only Veteran's day, it would have been our 49th wedding anniversary.  Melanie took off work early so that we could go to the cemetery and I could be with him for a few moments.  Then she decided she was going to make it a special day for me. 

We had to stop by the bookstore to pick up some books I had on consignment and then went out to eat.  We had a nice meal and good conversation.  In fact, we talked all the way back home as well.

We had to make a stop at Walmart to pickup just a few things.  Yeah!  A few things always grows into several but we had fun while we shopped.  We got what we stopped for but then had to look at the Christmas decorations and went down the clearance aisle.  I spotted a game that looked like fun so we got it and after she picked up a few stocking stuffers, we decided we'd better get out of there before we went into the hole.

We came home and put our stuff away and then I went out to her trailer.  We decided to try out the new game which is called Last Word and it was so much fun that we actually played two games.  She had bought Zach's Wii so we had to give it a try as well.  We tried out the bowling and it was the first time I've ever used a Wii but I beat her.  Then we had to try baseball and sure enough I hit a home run.  This is fun!

She had bought a dance program for it so naturally we had to check that out as well.  I will say that it does give you a work out and I am supposed to exercise but for now I'll stay with the slower and shorter versions so I don't run out of breath so easily.

But here it is over halfway through the month of November and just about time for Thanksgiving.  I'll be getting out the Christmas decorations and this weekend will be putting up the outside lights and decorations and will set up the tree the night before Thanksgiving.

I love Christmas and can hardly wait for it to come but I don't want to wish time to go this fast.  My husband always said I was like a kid when this time of year came around and I just couldn't get enough of it.  He was right and I almost got it all out last week but then I decided I would wait.  I know he would want me too and besides it makes it more fun to see the lights come on Thanksgiving night in preparation for the next holiday.

Usually I put up all the lights by myself but last year he got out to help me.  He even suggested we add more and helped as we strung lights all along the fence out front.  I only did part of it.  But he wanted more and so we did it. I look back now and think it was such a fun time with us working together and having him help me and I do so wish he could be here with us this year but I'm sure he is watching over us.

I want to keep some of the traditions that we started and it will make me feel he is a part of our celebration.  I'll be displaying his collection of Nut Crackers and have bought three new ones to add to it.  I'll also put out his favorite train that gives a message as it travels back and forth.  That was something he saw and bought and every year we had it out and he was forever turning it on and showing it to everyone who came or maybe just to sit and watch it by himself.  It will be in a place of honor this year where we all can see it and yes, it will be run, as I will sit and watch it from his favorite chair.

I only hope as the season progresses, Time will slow down so we can savor every day and every minute and enjoy the lights and colors and smells that come with the holiday.  But more important, I hope we have the time to really appreciate the reason for this holiday.  The old Nativity that belonged to my grandparents will be on display along with the other sets I've bought through the years and the Bible will be open to the story of the birth of Jesus. 

And we will make new memories this Christmas to blend with the past memories.

November

November.  I like the sound of that month.  I don't know why but it has a pleasant sound.  Maybe because there is so much associated with it that it makes a person feel happy.

We just had the mid term elections yesterday and I'm sure there are a few who will read this and not be happy, but for me, I am very pleased at the results.  And even more so that I was a part of it right here in my state of Oklahoma where we made history yesterday in electing the first woman governor of our state.  And I think we selected the right woman for the job.  We had two women running but of the two, the conservative won and she will turn this state around and get us back on track and she won almost by a landslide.

We will be ending day light savings time next Sunday, November 7.  Ordinarily it occurs in October but this year it was moved back.  It is already hard to get used to the dusk settling in so early, so I imagine next week I really will be confused as it comes an hour earlier.  I know it is kind of confusing but I just remember the saying, "Spring forward, Fall back," and then I get the right time.  If I'm not sure, the clock on the TV programming guide or my computer will verify it for me.

We will celebrate an honored holiday on November 11th.  Veteran's Day.  To me, it is a very special day as it was the day that I married my husband, 49 years ago.  We would have celebrated our 49th anniversary this year but I won't let it go by.  I plan to go visit him.

But the big holiday will be Thanksgiving.  I love Thanksgiving if I can have all my family together.  Not only do we prepare a huge meal that leaves us feeling miserable and asking why we had to have the second helping, and then all the leftovers that we'll be feasting on for a couple of days, but just being together for talking and laughing, playing games and enjoying being together as a family.  We are not a sports oriented family so there will be no fighting over the TV to watch a football game.  No sirree!  Not in this house.  We will be playing card games or board games or word games with the grandkids and the adults too.  We have as much fun as the kids do.

It is also the day that starts my favorite time of the year, Christmas.  My tree will go up and if the grandkids are here, they will help with the decorations.  I will have already put up the outside lights and decorations so when the sun goes down, the automatic timers will flip on the lights on Thanksgiving night to begin the Christmas celebration.

I used to get up early and hit the stores for the bargains on the Friday after, but not any more.  Being on a limited budget I try to buy little things throughout the year and only buy last minute or if it is a big item, it will be the last on the list.  I love the decorating inside as well as outside, so I'll be busy putting up decorations all around the house, just about in every room.

I have several collections, a Santa collection, my husband's Nutcracker collection, which I have added to this year, plus I have several Nativity scenes that I display along with an open Bible with the story of the glorious birth of our Lord for all to read.

So I guess when I say November, not only is it nice to say, it reminds me of all the delights that lie ahead of me this month and next month.  But most of all it reminds me of all the things I am thankful for as well as my family, near and far.

Fear

I was eleven and lived in a small town in southwest Iowa.  I knew just about everyone in town either as a friend or was related to them in some way so I never had much fear when I had to walk home from school or the library.

This was during the early 1950's when we didn't have computers or cell phones.  I often went to the library to do reference work for my homework so there was nothing unusual about my being at the library late one mid October evening.

My mother always told me to watch the time so that I could leave at dusk and be home before dark but that particular evening, I was engrossed in my studies and the thing is I don't even remember what I was studying at the time.

I just know that I looked out the window and realized it was dark so I put the encyclopedia back in its place and gathered up my notebook.  I told the librarian that I was finished and leaving to go home.  Since she was my mother's cousin she asked if my dad would be picking me up and I told her that I was going to walk home and that my parents knew I would be walking.

In my little town, it wasn't unusual so no one thought of anything causing danger or anyone who might be out there to harm a child. 

I remember it was chilly and I pulled my jacket around me crossing my arms to hold my notebook in front of me.  I looked up the street and decided it looked to dark so headed east towards the Boulevard.  That meant that I would be going two blocks along the north side of the square in front of a couple empty buildings, the fire station and a gas station and the block where the high school sat.

When I reached the corner where I would turn north to walk on the sidewalk along the Boulevard, it would be another six blocks to the corner of my street but there were street lights so I quickened my pace and started out.

I hadn't gone to far when I felt I was being watched.  I turned to look behind me and thought I saw a shadow duck behind a tree but then I didn't see anything.  There was a breeze and the tree limbs swayed causing the light from the street light to dance on the sidewalk and yards.  I could hear the rustling of the leaves as they were blown about and as I continued on, a fear began to form in my stomach.  I quickened my step even more and again I could feel a presence and when I looked, I knew I was right.  There was someone following me.  I was almost at a run, with the fear spreading up into my chest.

My heart was beating so hard and fast that it echoed in my ears and my breathing was labored even though I tried to keep it even.  I kept going, not wanting to stop in case whoever was behind me would catch me.  I would look over my shoulder and once I saw the outline of a man which made my fear heighten even more.  I looked around for a house that I might go to if I needed help but they were dark.  Where was everyone?

I reached the end of the Boulevard and where I would turn to go down my street.  It was two blocks to my house but there were no street lights so I began to run.  I ran as fast as I could on the graveled road hoping my footing would be good and that I wouldn't fall.  I never turned around to see if the figure was still behind me as I ran to the house and ran inside.

Panting, as I was out of breath, my mother asked, "Did you run all the way home?  I thought I told you to start before it got dark."

I was able to catch my breath long enough to say, "Someone was falling me."

My parents looked at one another and my dad asked, "Who was it?"

"I don't know but I saw him.  He followed me up the Boulevard and kept ducking behind a tree but once I saw him."

My dad went out side to look up the street and didn't see anyone until he started to turn to come back to the house and a glimpse of a figure at the corner of our street near the Boulevard caught his attention.  He got into his pickup and started up the street.

I was inside with my mother and younger brother and my mother wondered where he was going.  I think she was concerned now that I wasn't imagining things and someone really was out there.  She watched out the window as we waited for my dad to come back.

He was gone several minutes and when he returned and came inside I heard him tell my mother, "It was Penny.  I took him home and told him not to do it again."

I knew who Penny was.  My brother along with the other children in town had been warned to keep away from Penny.  We weren't told why only that we were not to talk to him or go around him and to cross the street if we had too.

My mind was racing.  I might have been caught by Penny and the horrible thoughts that came to my mind was that he might have had a knife and cut my throat or stabbed me in the back.  I was more frightened then than I was knowing someone was after me. 

I was still shaken and was getting a lecture from both of my parents for staying late at the library and then walking home after dark.  My mother said she would have a talk with her cousin so the next time she would call my dad to come get me.

"But I didn't know.  I told her I could walk home," I told them.  "I didn't know it was Penny or I would have gone to a house and got help."

My parents looked at one another and then to me.  My dad in his even quiet voice told me, "Penny wouldn't hurt you but it is just best you stay away from him."

"But why?  If he won't hurt me."  He always looked like a lonely man as he walked the streets of our town.  I noticed the adults always said hello to him but no one really ever talked to him.

My dad told me, "Penny has a slow mind.  He isn't like ordinary people.  It isn't his fault and he wouldn't hurt you but just the same, it is better that you don't go around him.  He doesn't understand that being nice and friendly is just being polite and he might want you to go somewhere with him, not to hurt you but just to have company and then we might not know where you were.  Do you understand?"

I was beginning to understand but I didn't know why they hadn't told me before.  If he wouldn't hurt us, then what harm would there be in saying hello or passing him on the street.  I guess my parents at the time didn't think I could distinguish the difference of being polite and speaking from being to friendly but I learned a lesson that night. 

I never stayed after dark at the library and if I did, I allowed my mother's cousin to call my dad to come pick me up.  I also learned that sometimes children understand more about a danger or suspected danger if they are told the truth and not be kept in the dark and only imagine what it could be.

I think my parents learned a lesson as well.  They talked to my brother and I more after that, explaining things and why people did the things they did or acted the way they did.  Such as the town drunk.  We knew he acted funny but were told he was sick.

But I have never forgotten that one late October evening as I walked home in the dark and the kind of fear that springs up within us and pumps the adrenalin to the highest level.  The mind works overtime thinking of the danger that is about to strike while it is sorting out what can be done to prevent it.  The heart works hard and the lungs expand in and out at a rapid pace.   And when it is all over, the ever present memory last forever.

Halloween

Halloween should be called "Fun Day".  What original started as a celtic holiday, Samuin, (pronounced sow-an or sow-in), which mean roughly "summer's end".  It was also regarded as the Celtic New Year.  Halloween has evolved into a fun loving, playful holiday.

While the ancient celts thought it was a time allowing the "spirits" (both harmless and harmful) to pass through from this world to the Otherworld.  They thought if they disguised themselves in a costume of a harmful spirit, they could avoid harm.

It was also a time for harvest as they gathered their food for winter and often times they would gather in groups with a large bonfire and used as part of the ritual.

Halloween deriving from the name of All-Hallows Even (evening) is the night before All Hallows Day which honors the saints.   In ancient times, turnips were hollowed out to use as candles and it was in North America, that the pumpkin began to be used for lighting as it was in abundant supply.  Hence, the jack-o-lantern.

Ever wonder why the jack-o-lantern is called that.  It goes back to the ancient times when a man by the name of Stingy Jack was a mean and cruel man who played tricks on his neighbors and decided he was going to trick the devil by having him climb a tree and surrounding it with crosses.  Jack continued playing his devilish games and when he died, he was not allowed to enter Heaven and since he had struck up a deal with the devil after the tree incident, he was not allowed to enter Hell.  He was destined to roam the earth and used the carved out turnip as his light to find his way in the darkness.  When the pumpkin replaced the turnip, it was called the jack-o-lantern from the original Jack o' the lantern.

The colors of Black and Orange are the traditional colors as they represent the "darkness of night," and the "light of the bonfire, autum leaves and the jack-o-lanterns."  The traditional ghosts, witches, vampires, werewolves, demons, bats and black cats were part of the mythical celebrations, and continue today along with haunted houses, graveyards and scary monsters.

Movies become thrillers to scare us, along with ghost stories told around bonfires.  Trick or treating  began in the Middle Ages when the "practice of souling", poor people would go door to door receiving food for prayers to be said on All Souls Day.

In today's celebration, it is one where adults as well as children celebrate.  Wearing costumes to work or parties, they enjoy the holiday as much as the children who look forward to that special costume and getting a lot of candy.  It is a "Fun Day" celebration and all vestage of the original holiday has been lost through the years.

I can still remember as a child when I went trick or treating.  I lived in a small town and at the time, it was a safe time so I was allowed to go with my brother or friends without supervision as I got older and my parents knew that I could find my way home.  Don't laugh, many children had to have help.  I knew just about everyone in town and we all knew which houses had the best treats.

Our first stop was at the Tyler's.  They ran the Coca Cola Distributing in town and everyone got a 5 cent coke, (that was the days when they came in bottles), that we were required to drink there as they had a deposit on the bottle so we weren't allowed to take them with us.  We also received a 5 cent Hershey candy bar and at that time it was the full size bar.  Then we would go to the next house where they had the Meadow Gold Ice Cream Plant and we would get a small container of ice cream.  Again we would eat it there as it would melt before we could get it home.  We knew that the people who ran the Dime Store would give out bags of candy and the principal of the school would give out a package of gum (the kind with 5 sticks and we could choose Spearamint, Doublemint, Juicy Fruit or my favorite, Black Jack.), we also knew where we would get the candied applies all wrapped so they would be okay until we got home, the popcorn balls and so many other goodies.

So we might have to sing a song or do a little dance step, we knew we were going to be rewarded with something good.  We would return home with a sack full of goodies that my mother would put away only allowing us to choose a goody each day for a week later.  I think they also enjoyed some of our loot too.

As I turned 12 I wasn't allowed to dress up and go door to door for treats, I was allowed to go to the local movie theater and watch such horror shows as Frankenstein, The Werewolf and The Mummy.  I guess you could say they were mild to some of the horror movies out today, but I can tell you at the time, they were plenty scary for us.

I had a few years that I missed out on the trick or treating but as my younger sister began to go, both my brother and I got to share in the loot she brought home and it was fun being able to get out and see her have so much fun.

In my teens, I would host a Halloween party or go to one and natually thought I was a grown up.  It wasn't until I was a mother and able to dress my daughter up to take her trick or treating, that the holiday was really fun again and later when I had two daughters that would go out.  I helped with their school parties and we made it a special time for them.

Halloween may only come once a year, just as the 4th of July or Christmas, but it is one holiday that is everyone looks forward too.   There is something magical about getting dressed up and going out into the dark night with other ghouls and jack-o-lanterns staring at you from a door step.  It has become more commercialized during the last few years but the main idea is still there allowing us to pretend one night that we are devils or witches, skeltons or mummies to scare and be scared and just have fun.

Happy Halloween!!

Sunshine

Why is it that when the sun shines, everything looks better.  The bright yellow ball in the sky seems to be able to lift our spirits and make the world seem right.

This past Monday was a gorgeous sunny day with the bluest sky, cloudless and little if no breeze.  A perfect day to be out and enjoying the outdoors and I was.  It was one of those perfect Fall days when just a hint of color on the trees even seemed brighter and the contrast with the blue sky made them spectacular.

Then yesterday was dark, gloomy, cool and a gentle rain fell off and on.  The type of day when you want to cuddle up inside with a nice warm blanket and a good book or be able to watch a good movie.  For me, it gave me an opportunity to do some writing.

Just as I've been negligent in keeping up this blog, I've let my writing slide too.  I had other projects I was working on but now it is time to get back to what I love to do and that is to write.  I've got so many stories running around in my head but can only work on one at a time.  I discovered that the hard way.  I had two going and soon they almost became one, so now I make my little notes and only work on one at a time.

I keep putting off the rest of the editing on the short stories but I'm sure I'm going to have more rainy days ahead and will get it done so I can put them together and publish my short stories.  I've got a couple that I want to finish and add to the collection.  It will be my gift to my family.

Today started gloomy but midday the sun began breaking through the clouds and is sunny and warm and another blue sky but there are a few soft white clouds floating around.  But I had to get out and it was so nice to see and feel the sun.

Living here at the lake it is always a pleasant drive when I have to drive into town and cross over the lake.  For some reason, when the sun is shining, the lake glistens and the banks always remind me of photographs of far off shores.  With the houses along the shoreline and beaches, it is like a postcard and never a tiresome sight.

Of course, with the busy highway, it is hard to take the time to really enjoy the views as the driver, but I still managed to get a couple of glimpses. 

I know we can't have sunshine in our lives all the time, but I think I'm going to think sunshine even on the gloomiest of days as my spirits soar and I feel the warmth and comfort of the sunshine.  It not only brightens up the outside, but inside as well.  If we can keep that sunshine with us, our days will always be bright.

Some Days Are Better Than Others

It is true, most days are good days but some are just better than others.  However, today was not one of those better days for me.  It wasn't even a good day.

First, it would have been my husband's 70th birthday.  I looked at his picture this morning and wished him a Happy Birthday just the same.  This afternoon I drove up to the cemetery to talk with him.  I wanted to wish him Happy Birthday there plus let him know several of our family, friends and many of our internet friends all sent wishes as well.

The day started off beautifully as the sun rose over the trees sending tentacles of light through the branches extending across the yard until it was high enough to bath the yard in full light, making the dew covered grass shine as sparkling diamonds.  The blue sky went from a light to a deep color and I knew it was going to be a good day.

I had a doctor's appointment and knew the spirit of my husband would be there as I got test results and if he was, I'm sure he was as surprised and shocked as I was.  But I do think he was with me, long enough to see to it that I made it back home to recollect myself and my thoughts from the news I'd received.

My day had turned dark, not truly dark as the sun shone down and the sky was cloudless and a bright clear blue, but it was dark to me.

The doctor told me that I have COPD, with compressed diaphragms, meaning they can't make the lungs work as they should.  And in addition, they were fibroid.  This is a condition usually caused by work related causes, dust, toxic fumes or chemicals, coal miners and such.  But it can also appear for no reason or might have been brought on by asthma, which it seems I might have had for years and was undiagnosed as they knew of the chronic bronchitis and allergies.  It makes no difference now how it came to be, it happened and now I will go see a Pulmologist for a confirmation and treatment options.

The options will be few and there is no cure.  Basically I will use an inhaler until I have to go on oxygen and as the condition worsens, it will eventually lead to a respirator.  It won't happen over night but will get steadily worse so I know what is coming and I made a decision that when that time comes, I will refuse the respirator.

I do not want to be a burden on my daughter or grandson and I can't ask them to give up their lives to take care of me.  I've always believed that when God decides to bring me home I will go.  Living on a machine is only delaying that and I will not ask God to wait for me either.

The oddest thing of all is that I have been a smoker for over 50 years and it has nothing to do with what I'm suffering from now.  It didn't cause it and will not make it worse or hasten it.  However, I am going to have to quit due to the Chronic Bronchitis I have as smoking does irritate that.  The x-rays show my lungs as clear and there is no indication of Emphysema at all.  I think I could have handled that easier than what I heard today but even then it would have been hard.

The bright light in all of this is that I am an optimist and I think positive.  Even when I think everything is caving in around me, I still am able to see that light at the end of the tunnel and know that in time, it will work out.  Just as this will.  I don't know when or how long, but I plan to take each day and make it special and live it to the fullest.

I was feeling pretty down as I made my trip to the cemetery but after talking to my beloved, I found a peace and the rest of my day looked bright again.  I know he was there with me, supporting me and just letting me know that it will be all right.

I've got the support of my family and as I told my oldest daughter, "I'm a tough old bird and it is going to take a lot to get me down."

So tomorrow will surely be a better day.