Party Time!

I love to give parties and entertain.  I think part of the fun is the planning and the anticipation as the day approaches for the party.

Last year when my daughter was here, we set up a canopy outside and put lights all around it and tables and chairs and of course a portable bar along with a CD player and the party was on.  It started on the 4th of July and we had a couple more during the summer.  Everyone looked forward to our "Party Central" parties.  

There was nothing fancy, just family, friends and neighbors who all joined together for an evening of laughter, dancing and just plain fun.

So it is that time again to open up "Party Central".  Only this year there is a big change.  We will have everything on the screened in porch and plan to add some food.  One end will be set up buffet style, one end will be a conversation area and the center section will be free for all those free spirits who just have to move to the music.

The lights have been put up and we'll have some decorative lights as well.  The grill will be set up on the north patio for burgers and hot dogs and inside we'll have whatever the guests decide to bring with them to share.  The bar will be open with plenty of ice and some sodas but everyone will need to bring their own special spirits if they choose.  Music will be playing with an assortment of CD's that daughter and I have and if anyone wants to bring their own, we'll accommodate.

For a successful party, I want all my guests to enjoy themselves and feel comfortable.  So I try to make them a part of the celebration and evidently my enthusiasm works as everyone seems ready and willing to help.

But now, I'm in the planning stages and to me that isn't a chore but just part of the fun.  I'll make my list of food items I need to get and have on hand, plenty of ice and sodas, cups, plates and whatever else I can think of before that final day.

Fireworks will be going off all around us plus I'm sure we will have plenty of our own right here as my grandson will not disappoint and I think a few of the guests are bringing some as well.

I just get excited thinking about it and still have over two weeks before it happens but that is the way I am.  As I said, I love to entertain and have fun with family and friends.  We would have had a head start by having a party over Memorial Day but daughter was moving that weekend so we'll just have our big blow out on the 4th.

And I'm sure there will be more with one last one before we have to say good bye to summer and hello to winter.  We had one in late fall last year so as long as it is not freezing, we'll be out there at Party Central.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY EVERYONE!!!!!   HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!!!!

An Empty Nest, The Second Time Around

We have our children and we watch them grow, wishing they were bigger when they are little and then wishing they were little once they are young adults.  But all the while, we still enjoy them from birth to that first step out on their own.

It is hard when that high school graduation comes and you watch that child you have raised from a tiny squirming baby into a smart and anxious to meet the world young adult.  You wish you could find a way to keep them just a little longer and they are just waiting to get out there and show the world they are adults and can make it on their own.

Some do succeed the first time out, while others might have to retreat back home to regroup and start over but eventually they do leave the nest and are on their own.  And we watch with pride as they take off in their next chapter of their lives with jobs, more schooling or even marriage and a family.  They may have left the nest but at the same time we still have a tiny string attached.

Whether they want to admit it or not, they won't let go of that string either.  Things happen in their lives that no one can foresee and that string is their lifeline to go home when they have no place else to go.

This happened to my family.  The youngest daughter came home, even moving out of state to stay with us until she could get on her feet and resume her life.  The oldest had married and was doing well even after a divorce and starting out on her own.  But the company she worked for sold out and she was out of a job.  She continued to try to make a go of it with part time work and unemployment while she looked for a job but it became evident that she would have no choice but to sell off all her belongings except for a few personal items and to let her house go.

She was so excited when she bought her home and we were excited for her but when that day came that she had to walk away, we told her we were here and she could come here.  We call it a twist of fate as we planned for her to buy a trailer to set up next to our house and stay until she could find work and get back on her feet, but then we got the word that my husband was seriously ill.

So coming home was a two fold event.  We were going to help her by giving her a place to live and she would be here to help with her father.  And when he passed, she remained to be here for me.  We gave each other support as she found a job and worked, knowing that one day she would return to the larger city from where she had moved from because eventually the work would be there and it was where her friends were and it was her home too.

That day came a little sooner than I expected but she had the opportunity for a job and to find a place to live and so she packed up what few items she had in a U-haul and sold the trailer and today she left her job here to go to her new place and get settled over the weekend and start her new job the first of the week.

I've tried to prepare for this but it is hard knowing that I won't be seeing her come home from work, or visiting with her in the trailer or here in the house.  Our little outings to the store or to go out to eat will be missed as well.  Even though we were close, we had our space but at the same time we were just a few feet away and when we needed to talk or just to listen to music and relax, we did it.

Now, I go out there and I see the spot where the trailer sat for a year and a half and it looks so bare and it is hard to believe it is gone.  But the grass will return and one day there won't be any sign that the trailer sat there and she was so close.

The empty nest syndrome has hit again.  We are much older but at the same time, she still is my child, maybe not a young one just starting out as she has her own child, a soon to be 21 year old.  But we had a second chance and now she has flown the coop again.  I'm sad but at the same time I'm happy for her.  I want what is the best for her and this move is for the best.

So I can sit here and mope or I can pick myself up and stay busy, visit with my friends and look forward to the visits I'll have from her and my other daughter and my grand kids.  The nest may be empty but the string is still attached and I know they will be here to visit and that is the way it should be.  They each have their own lives and the lives of their children as it is a never ending circle.

One day they will experience the empty nest and I hope they will look at it as I do.  It may be empty now, but it is always home and they are always welcome and there is the telephone.

Memorial Day 2011

Today we honor our fallen military whether they served in war time or peace time, they each gave of themselves to protect and defend this country and our freedoms.  Somehow a thank you just doesn't seem enough for some and yet we are all very thankful and grateful for their service and their sacrifice.

My husband, a veteran, was proud of his service and it reflected in the life he led as well as the teachings he gave to his daughters and grandchildren.  His hope as with all of us is that one day our children and grandchildren might not ever have to face the enemy on foreign ground.  But should they have to serve, they will do so with dignity and the knowledge that they are serving their country and their families and will be proud too.

Just as we have faith and believe in God, we know that he is with us and with our fighting men and women.   They fight for all our freedoms including our freedom of religion and the right to believe in God.

My daughter and I went to visit my husband's grave and I always get that feeling of patriotism and pride as we approach it seeing the flags and the decorations.  Today we were honored to see the fly over as well.  It was a lovely day so many families were out to attend the memorial service at the cemetery and to visit the final resting spot of their loved ones.  Being a national cemetery, it gives a person a sense of pride and to know that those there have been honored so.  It tugs at the heart as well knowing the loved ones are now away from us.  The Ft. Gibson National Cemetery at Ft. Gibson, Oklahoma is like all the other national cemeteries but this one is more special because our own loved one is there. 

I commend the commander of the cemetery and the staff and workers as they make sure that everything is clean, the grass mowed and each grave marked with its own personal flag.  The drives are lined with flags and the Officer Circle is lined with the largest flag in the center flown at half staff.   A person cannot visit there and not feel the love and devotion that has been given to each and every grave and the grounds.

As this day ends, I salute all our military men and women who are serving now and may God be with each and every one of you.  And I salute those who have served in the past.   Thank you just doesn't seem enough but it comes from the heart and may God keep you in his protection.

The Decision

Lately I have been trying to make a big decision.  A very hard decision.  My daughter will be moving back to Tulsa soon so that means I will have this big old house and large yard all to myself.  It takes two days and sometimes two and a half days just to do the mowing and trimming and with my asthma and allergies, I have thought that I might try to sell the place and move into an apartment in town.  I won't move to Tulsa but there is a nice little town about 8 miles north of me that has everything I need and since I already bank there and do most of my shopping there, it would be the ideal location.

But my dilemma is that for the last several years and mean several, I have always lived in a rural area away from town and always had a lot of room on each side so my neighbors weren't right next door.  I've enjoyed the solitude and when my husband was here, we both enjoyed being out away from the hustle and bustle. 

But now I am left with this big house and yard and outbuildings and I really don't need all this space or the maintenance that comes with home ownership.  I've put the figures together several times and I could live in a rented apartment for about the same that it costs me to live here.  Of course, this house is paid for so there is no mortgage payment but there is insurance and taxes and high utility bills plus all the maintenance, so I would be transferring where the money is spent, primarily.

The next big obstacle in this decision making is what do I keep and what do I dispose of.  I have a houseful of furniture and most of it has to go.  Along with all the little knick knacks I've collected through the years and assorted junk.  I've walked through the house making note of what is absolute in keeping and what is on the questionable list.

I definitely will keep all the family pieces plus a couple of the antiques we have retained and there are a few things my husband made that I just can't part with but again something will have to go.  I don't want to rent a storage shed as that is just another cost plus the security isn't all that great unless it is one that I can see personally. 

So that means that I am thinking of a 2 bedroom even though it will run a little more, but I really need the extra room for storage and will be used for the computer and my sewing machine and all my fabric and yarn and thread for my crocheting.  I will still have some things that I will have to store, like the Christmas and other holiday decorations.

And speaking of Christmas decorations, since I go all out and really light up the place around here.  I have at least 10 if not a dozen tubs full of decorations and lights, cords and outlets and you name it, I have it.  That will have to be cut down and again, there are certain things I will keep so it will be hard to dispose of the others.  My daughters will have to take their share of the china.  Once I pack it up for them, I won't store it for them so it will be up to them to take it and store it or use it or whatever.  I have several other things I was going to pass down so they will have to take them or they will be put out at the sale.

And that is another thing.  The sale.  I can't decide if I should use an auctioneer and keep my fingers crossed it will be a good sale or just try to advertise and sell it all myself.  I could have a weekly yard sale and still have stuff left over so it is a big problem.  We downsized when we moved here but we still brought a lot with us and as it goes with everyone, we have added to it as well.

So what to do?  I've had someone show interest in the house but doesn't mean they will buy it or when.  And I'm not sure if I could sell it.  I'm going to ask a ridiculously low but reasonable price and it will be a bargain if someone pays what I'm asking.  We bought it more or less on a "fire sale" basis and so that is what I will try to sell it for.  And I'm throwing in a few incentives to make it more attractive, like the golf cart, riding mower and even the generator if they will pay my price.  If not, then we will have to negotiate.

As I told my oldest daughter last night, I think the reason the decision is so hard is that I have never had to make a decision like this by myself.  My husband and I always made the decisions together but now I don't have anyone but myself.  I don't want to feel I made a mistake after I've done it but at the same time, I'm not sure how long I can really stay here and keep it up.

This was our retirement home and it has a lot of good and bad and sad memories.  I will have to part with a lot of things I've enjoyed through the years but maybe it is time for it.  Sooner or later, it would all have to be sorted and gone through and sold or what ever and it would be up to my daughters to do all of that, so maybe I should do it now and give them what I want them to have, keep what I absolutely need and want and let the rest go.

It is a decision that is hard to make and I go from day to day trying to make up my mind.  Looking at the pros and cons and trying to see what is the best solution.

May Day - a remembrance from the past

MAY DAY!  Does anyone remember how we used to celebrate this day?

I can remember when I was in grade school and we were divided up in teams and given pastel colored crepe paper streamers.  The tether balls had been removed from the poles and our teacher would take the end of our streamers to tape to the top of the pole and then helped guide us as we wove in and out.  One group would go clockwise while the other went counterclockwise.  The streamers made a colorful braided affect on the pole and we would stand back to admire our decorated pole and clap.

Every year we looked forward to the May Pole dance as we called it.  If May Day happened to fall on a weekend day, we always decorated the poles on Friday before so when we drove by the school, we could admire them.

But the fun part came from the week before as we cut and pasted pieces of construction paper into little baskets.  We might decorate them with crayons or pieces of lace or trim our mothers had. Sometimes we would cut up the lacy looking paper doilies to use for decoration or to cover the outside of the basket.  Once the baskets were all made and of course we knew just how many to make as we would make a list of those we wanted to "hang" the baskets for.

We would sit around the table under the supervision of our mother so we didn't put too much or too little in each basket.  We always had the small pastel colored mints and spanish peanuts.  After the baskets were filled with the goodies, my brother and I would scour the yard picking every wild violet we could find so we could add the tiny flowers to the baskets.

My mother would place all the baskets in a small box or sometimes on a cookie sheet and we loaded up in the car as my dad began driving around our small town stopping at the houses my brother and I wanted to "hang" a basket.

We would get out of the car and carry the basket to the porch, set it down and then yell out "May Basket" and run as fast as we could back to the car, hoping to get back safely before we were caught by the receiver and given a kiss.  Of course, sometimes we wanted the kiss so didn't run as fast as other times.  HA!

It was such a fun and exciting time and the thrill of sneaking up to leave the basket on a porch or step and then yelling out and running was the most fun.  Perhaps that is one reason the holiday which is sadly forgotten now, was one of my favorites.

When we would return home, there would be several baskets on our porch which was delight and then we could take our turn at standing near the door to watch for those who were yet to come so we could chase them and hopefully catch the ones we wanted to catch.

It is a remembrance from the past and one I wish would be revived today.  We were so proud of our little baskets we made and the rewards of receiving a lot of baskets ourselves.  Maybe it was because we did live in a small rural community but I would still like to see it happen again, even if it is just the neighborhood.  What a pleasant surprise to find a small basket with a few mints and peanuts and of course the beloved wild violet.

Happy May Day everyone!

Just some Musings

I haven't been here for a while.  Seems there is always something going on or I didn't really have anything I felt I wanted to share or talk about, but the past few days I've been thinking about the blog.  I just felt like chatting.

Last weekend, my daughter and I had a yard sale.  Of course the weather didn't want to cooperate as the night before, we had storms and thought we might even have to go to our "fraidy hole".  That is what we call our strom shelter.  But the storms went around us and we only got rain and wind.  But it also meant she was up at 4 AM to begin setting up.  She did allow me to sleep in until almost 6 AM.  But it was a very cold blustery day and even though we had a lot of people stopping by, it was a constant running to catch things that wanted to blow off the tables or to find a place out of the wind.  I even set up a portable heater inside the porch so we could sit in front of it to thaw out.  We could still see if someone came and not sure it helped that much but we tried.  The next day was cool to start with but then warmed up and not nearly as windy so all in all the sale went well and we didn't have a whole lot left at the end of it.

We haven't done anything with the MG as yet.  It still has some problems so when this weather settles, we'll get it out and see if we can get it running again and sell it. 

I've been messing with my golf cart too.  Found out that there was a broken battery cable, so got it fixed and then had two flat tires.  My wonderful grandson, Zach, came out and helped me and we had them aired up and he rode it around the yard with no problem but the next day we had one flat so guess I'll get the tire off and take it to see if it can be fixed.  I really would like to have it running by the end of the month when my youngest daughter and three grandchildren come to visit.

I had a disappointment when I discovered between the drought that we had last summer which really hurt them, plus the extreme cold and snow from this winter, that the Hydrangeas my husband planted had died out along with our Azaleas.  They had been doing so well and I watered and fertilized them but I guess it just wasn't enough.  Although one of the Rhubarb plants did survive and it is looking good.

I'm trying to get someone to come in and level off the old garden spot and have found someone who will take down the old greenhouse and chicken coop and haul off the material.   A storm earlier this year tore the roof off the greenhouse and it is still laying on top of the wood shop.  Once that is all taken care of, it will make the mowing and trimming out there much easier.

We really haven't had the spring rains and warm temps so that I've had to do a lot of mowing but I'm sure that is about to change.  I've had to mow a couple of times and did some trimming last week.  I still have some leaves to mulch once I get them away from the fence but we have had unusually high winds and has been pointless to try to get them.  We just never have winds like we've had this spring and it has really played havoc with the yard work plus I've also got to get someone to come fix the roof on the front porch as it was torn loose during one of our extremely high wind days.

And of course, spring time brings out new life everywhere, including all the new born kittens we seemed to have received.  I'm still trying to round up the one old tabby I have and her new borns that she just brought out of hiding as I really would like to get rid of her and some friends said they need a barn cat and would take them all.  Living in the country, cats go missing so they are always looking for more.  Then I discovered my little white furry female had her kittens in the old chicken coop.  She climbs through the opening from the roof that was torn off and so I'll have to keep a watch so can make it easier for her to get out.

I was having my morning coffee and looking out the window and noticed my other outdoor cats and how social they are with each other.  Not only them, but most of the neighborhood cats as well.  They greet each other and rub and I imagine purring as well.  They lay snuggled together in the sunshine with an occasional nudge or movement.  When one of the neighboring cats come along, they are taken in as well with the usual greeting and accepted as belonging too.  Of course being a cat lover, I do enjoy watching them just as I did years ago and how those cats inspired me to write Cassie's Clearing.  They are independent and yet they can be very loving and caring and very social.

And I think the birds and the cats must have come to some agreement as I really haven't noticed the cats going after the birds and the birds don't seem to mind coming to the feeder with the cats just a few feet away dozing in the sunshine.  Now the squirrels are a different thing.  The cats don't like them and they don't like the cats.  I've watched as my cats will chase them right back up the tree.  They don't seem to want to catch them as much as they just don't like them.

My daughter and I went out to celebrate on April 13 as my first contract with Publish America had expired so hope they will take the hint and cancel the second or either I'll have to wait until May 2011.  Seven years with a bad publisher is just a bit much.  I'm thinking of editing the story again since they didn't and didn't make all the corrections I asked for and re-publishing it myself.  It was a great seller the first time around but I quit pushing it just as I have the second one I have with them. 

I still write but have lost some of my enthusiasm as there are so many out there who are publishing or self publishing and the market is being ruined by the overflow.  With the added internet, e-book and digital offerings, it makes it even more difficult to get a book out there to be noticed.  Writers like me who do not have a specialty field, such as Romance, Sci-Fi or Mystery, have a hard time finding that niche to fit in and get noticed.  I write general fiction, with a little romance, mystery, fantasy and general story telling so I have to rely on my synopsis to get attention and then word of mouth helps too.

My husband always hoped I would make it big but I never really thought that much about it.  I write because I enjoy it and I love it when someone reads my work and loves it.  I've had my moments and feel I've accomplished something with my writing even if I never made the best seller list, I have sold a lot of books over the years and many were repeat customers and even some from other countries which really made me feel good to be noticed in Europe or Australia.  So I feel I have done well and am satisfied.  I'll keep writing and I may even publish something again one day.  I know I will my short story collection, even if I only do it for my family.  Although I've already had requests for it so I guess I should get busy and finish getting it all put together and get it done.

The past couple of years have been hard for me on a personal level.  With the return of my husband's cancer and his untimely passing in January 2010, I had so much to contend with that my writing went silent for several months.  But then I began to write again between the good times and the bad times.  Then this year started off with more tragedy and conflict but I kept my writing up as it kept me going through this last difficult time.  It was my release.

I'm still trying to adjust to my Sundays now.  For over ten years every Sunday afternoon I would call my mother and we would have a long visit by phone.  It was our day and my family all knew it and often wondered how we found so much to talk about.  But she lived alone and was lonely and since we were so far away, we would talk about current affairs, or what the family was doing and sometimes we would just take a trip down memory lane.  We laughed and we cried and we were very close so now my Sundays feel as if there is something missing.  I find something to do to keep myself busy and all the while wonder if my mother can see me or knows what I'm doing.

I'm going to have another adjustment later this fall when my daughter moves back to Tulsa.  It has been nice having her so close but I know she wants to find a better job and be closer to her friends again.  She lived there for so many years, even though years ago this was home for her too as she graduated from the local high school so she has friends here as well.  She is more of the big city type and I'm more the country girl.  We have a lot of fun together and get along well, but it is time for her to fly the nest again.

I do have my friends here so I won't be all alone.  And I'm hoping that I might meet someone who can be a companion.  Not really looking but would be nice to have a friend that we could go to dinner once in a while or just talk. 

This has just been some of my thoughts and musings.  Every now and then I like to write down my thoughts and feelings and occasionally they lead to a story line so I never know.  Guess it all goes with the day dreams and imagination that make up my life and gives me that storytelling feeling.

Pappa's Folly

Before my husband learned that his cancer had come back and got so sick, he decided he wanted a new toy.  He bought a 1976 MG Midget, with the idea he would fix it up and use it for special occasions such as parades or shows.  He and his friend did a lot of engine work and still had a problem keeping it running smoothly.

It wasn't to long until he realized it was the battery but by then he had received the word about his cancer and even though he pulled the battery out of the car to replace it, he never did.  He pushed it back into the garage and covered it up in October 2009.

He had set the battery out and last year I kept saying I needed to go get another one but then something would come up and I didn't do it.  But this year, I did.  I got the battery and had my neighbor across the street come over to put it in. 

We had a few cool days so I waited but this past weekend was nice and warm, a little windy on Sunday but still a nice day.  We pushed the car out on Saturday and hooked up the battery but no way could we get it to start.  We tried a direct jump with my car and still it wouldn't turn over.  So we left the charger on it for several hours to recharge the battery and I covered it up Saturday night.

Sunday morning, I removed the cover, but it still wouldn't start.  My neighbor came over and began messing with it, trying different things.  Since it had set for so long, we thought maybe the gas was bad too.  My daughter had some STP so we added that as well as some new fresh gas and after more priming, it started to turn over.  We would try it every little bit and when it did, everyone who had gathered to see what was going on jumped up and down and clapped. 

The little engine began to level out and purr just like a kitten and everyone was amazed at how it sounded.  Now the trick come, would it stay running smoothly if driven.  My daughter volunteered and drove it around the yard, no problems so she parked it near the front fence where it could be seen and we put a For Sale sign  on it.

We didn't have any lookers but did have several neighbors stop by to ask about it as they knew my husband had bought it and didn't realize I still had it.  It is such a little car so hopefully it will draw the attention of someone like my husband who has to have a "folly".

Late in the afternoon, my daughter and I decided we needed to really drive it so took a little ride around the neighborhood.  I'd found the new sticker for the tag and the insurance card so we were set.  I had never driven it and it has been 30+ years since I'd driven a standard and I was a little nervous but actually I guess it is like riding a bike, as I didn't have a problem and didn't stutter once with it.  I started driving and after a few blocks we came to a stop sign so I stopped so she could drive it.  There was no one around and we started getting out.  Well, when a car only sits 4" off the ground and not much room when you get the door opened fully, I was having a hard time.  Finally got the legs out and then tried to hoist myself up.  In the meantime, two young men in a pickup had come up behind us and were watching us.  As I finally got out, they came around us laughing and I'm sure we did create quite a comical scene.  But we got switched and she drove it another few blocks and back home parking it in the garage since possibly we could have had some thunderstorms.

So Pappa's Folly provided us with some memories as we thought about him as gave us a few minutes of pleasure as we drove it.  But now it is time that it finds a new owner who will give it the TLC it needs and become their folly.