Just Things

I've always been a nostaligic person and it is hard for me to part with something once I get it.  However in all my years of marriage and moving around, I've had to part with several things.  Sometimes later I regret it but then when I think about it, they were just things and most were what are called "dust collectors."

Right now, I'm in the process of sorting out more of my "things" and it is with mixed emotions.  But I really have no need or use for them and so maybe it is time to let them go.

I think, "well maybe I might need it or might want it someday," but in reality if I haven't used it or needed it in several years, then maybe it is time for it to go. 

One thing is my collection of Christmas dinnerware.  I started collecting them when my first granddaughter was a baby.  I thought it would be so nice to make sure each of my grandchildren had a set one day when they had their own homes.  But, my daughters have their own Christmas dinnerware and will be passing it down so there really is no need for me to hang on to these that I have.  One set has never been used, the other two have only been used once or maybe twice and seeing how the first set was bought over 12 years ago, then it really isn't something I need to hold on to.

The other thing is the crystal punch bowl my parents gave us years ago.  I had used it several times in the past but for the last 23 years it has been stored in the china hutch and moved when we moved, but never used.  I always think I'll use it but I never have so guess it is time for it to go as well.

When we retired, I sold a lot of my "collections" as we didn't have the room for them in our new home.  I regret selling some of them but when I look around, I know they would have remained in the packing boxes so now I know they have a new home where they can be used or enjoyed.  I keep telling myself that it will be the same with these things that I'm ready to part with.

I know it sounds foolish to become attached to "things," but that is the way I am.  However, I know that it is time to give up some of these things and even though it is hard, it is better than leaving them sit on a shelf and become a dust collector.  Hopefully they will be "things" for someone else to enjoy and pass along.

I have the necessities that I need to get by with on a daily basis, so I tell myself if I haven't used it, then it isn't necessary and it needs to go.  But it is still hard to part with some things as they do have memories attached.  But things can go and the memories will always stay.

My mother, who is 90 years old, began giving away her "things" a few years ago.  She wanted to give something to each of her children and has given us all something that was hers.  Those things I will keep as they will be passed on to my children and grandchildren as remembrances.  But mostly what she has passed on is something that is useful or has been in the family for years.

I have a few of those things and those I will keep.  The time has come though for the rest of my "things" to go.  I can always replace them should I need to with something similiar but for now they need to go.

 After all, they are just things.

Reflections, Thoughts and Imagination

Ever have one of those days or worse, a sleepless night, that the mind feels like it is on a merry-go-round and all these little things keep popping up, not really related to one another but the mind is jumping from one thing to another?

Well, I have them quite often.  Both the sleepless nights and day time.  I tell myself that it is my over imagination at work.  I have always had a big imagination and maybe that is why I'm a writer today.  It is my outlet for my imaginary thoughts, my alter ego or whatever. 

I reflect back on my childhood, growing up with primarily my younger brother as my playmate since we lived on a street that there just weren't any children other than us.  I was thinking about him the other day and the things we used to do to entertain ourselves.

For one thing there was a huge tree in our front yard and the roots were above ground and stretched out like the tentacles of an Octopus in all different directions.  We would play under that tree for hours.  My brother would be on one side playing with his cars and trucks, while I'd be on the other side with all my doll furniture and dolls.  The roots were great room dividers so I could really play house there.

There were times when my brother would play house with me or I would play cars with him. We each had our own little worlds but occasionally we would play together.  And if we weren't doing that, as we got older and were allowed to go to the afternoon matinee at the theater in our little town, we would come home, find a nice branch that would make a good horse and we would play cowboy and indian and re-enact the movie we had just seen.  Those stick horses and his toy guns, if he would share with me, when he didn't I had to find a stick I could use as my "rifle."

We also had one other thing that occupied us.  My dad had a 1936 Pontiac that he drove everyday, this was in the early 50's, and he also ran a gas station.  He was going to do some minor repairs as the car had been acting up but just hadn't got to it and it was parked across the street from the station.  One day when my brother was staying with my dad at the station, he got the idea that he could fix the car.  He found a hammer and somehow managed to open the hood and looking at it, decided those things with wires were the culprit and began to use the hammer to start beating on the spark plugs.

One of the young men who worked with my dad noticed and told him, "What is Bobby doing?"  My dad went to see and by then, he had managed to beat on every plug and had broken them all off.  My dad was a patient man and asked him what he was doing.  My brother who was probably 7 or 8 at the time and really old enough to know better but thought he could help told my dad, "I'm fixing the car."  My dad told him he needed to give him the hammer and that he had broken it more.  My brother felt bad and after a talking too by my dad, he knew he had done wrong and was really sorry.

But the car could not be fixed.  They tried all they could to remove the plugs but to no avail so it was pulled down and parked in the side yard east of our house.  Well, that old car became our new adventure.  We got permission to play in it and we travelled around the world.  We went to New York, California, London and Paris.  Not sure how we figured to get across the ocean but we went there anyway.  Sometimes he would be my chauffeur and I'd be a movie star or a famous person.  Other times I would drive and he would be a famous person.

We had most of one summer which that old car took us around the world and we saw sights that we'd only seen in the movies or magazines or books or even knew about but it was as real to us as it could be.  But we had fun and our imaginations were going full blast.

Even on a lazy day, we would lie down in the grass and look up at the clouds in the sky and we saw animals, faces, buildings.  Those clouds told us stories and we wondered where they were going and where they had come from, if anyone was on them.

Of course we did go visit friends occasionally or might have someone come to our house and then we would play the outdoor games of the time.  Hide and Seek, Cowboys and Indians, Tag, Red Light Green Light and then as night time came, it was time to catch the lightning bugs as we called them.  My mom or dad would find us a jar and make holes in the lid as we collected as many as we could catch and then would set the jar up where we could watch the show going on inside.

I think back and wonder if a part of our imagination came before we had TV and only had a radio with our favorite shows, The Lone Ranger, Cisco Kid, Gangbusters, Roy Rogers and so many others.  We had to listen and use our imagination to know what was going on and I think it only expanded the imaginations we had.

As a writer, I still like to "tell" a story and I know that has to come from my mother and grandmother.  My grandmother was a story teller as my mother grew up and my mother told us stories.  She could sit and tell a story as if she had read it somewhere but it came from her imagination.  Whether there is a special trait for those of us with extraordinary imaginations or if it is something we honed out of necessity, but either way, it has given me the opportunity to use my imagination in my writing.

So there are nights when I go to bed, only to have thoughts racing through my head as the plot comes for a new story.  Sometimes during the day time, I have a thought and these thoughts stay with me until I sit down and start writing.  Even then, they nag at me until I finish it and then allow me to have some peace until they are ready to start up again.

But I love it.  I love the idea of thinking about a story, telling that story and most of all seeing it unfold in front of me, not knowing what will happen next and then when it comes to the end, the feeling of sorrow as I have to say good bye to those new friends I have met during my story.  It is an emotional roller coaster at times as I just want to keep going but my imagination tells me it is time to end it and so I wait until the next time the thoughts start up.

So some of what I do are reflections of my past, but not all.  I might see something that triggers those thoughts and soon the muse is pecking at the brain, 'write, write, write'.  I can see some little thing in each of my stories that reminds me of something from my childhood or growing up years and sometimes it is somethng in my adult life or that of my own children.  It may not be about them or me, but maybe just one little piece of that relection is interjected into the story and becomes a part of the magical world of words on paper and for my thoughts to be forever remembered.

An evening with Mr. Lucky

Mr. Lucky is a long haired multi color cat that I gave to my grandson, Zach.  He was just a kitten and Zach had no place to keep him, so his mother agreed to let Lucky come live with her and her two cats, Oliver and Prissy, in the trailer she lives in next to me. 

That in itself has been quite the adventure as every day I hear a new tale about Mr. Lucky and his antics and believe me he is one cat who is so curious and mischievious that he is always in trouble.  But he has the sweetest face and gives you that sweet innocent look and just melts your heart.

My daughter and I decided we were going to treat ourselves to a pizza last night and I went to her trailer to eat with her and that is when the evening started.

Mr. Lucky has a favorite chair and when anyone sits in it, he will get up on the arm of the chair and push with his feet, trying to make you move.  If you do move, he will slide down to sit beside you and again push as if to say, "Get out of my chair."  Since she is limited on seating, I had no choice but to sit in his chair and as usual he began to give me his signals that he wanted me to move.

We ate our pizza and were visiting when he got up on the arm of the chair and since the subtle hint he'd been giving me wasn't working, he decided he would try a different approach.  He got very attentive and loving, wanting to get close and give me a kiss.  It was hilarious watching him as we both knew what he wanted and he was relentless in his attempt to reclaim his chair.

But it didn't work.  I remained seated and he laid on the arm of the chair giving me a look as if to say, "Don't you understand, I want my chair back."  Trying to ignore him is impossible as he will not allow you to do that.  He doesn't get mean about it, but you know he wants your attention for some reason or another.

We played our little game of I know what you want but you aren't getting it and his I want my chair back, for quite a while and then I told her I would leave and let her get back to work on her crafts.  The first thing Mr. Lucky did when I got up was settle into his chair and give us both a look as if to say, "You finally got the message."  He would blink his eyes as if he had won the battle of wills and was content.

I'm sure Mr. Lucky and I will go round and round again when I go to visit and sit in his chair.  I often wonder if he finds some enjoyment of his little interaction with me or anyone as he is always polite but very subtle and determined.

God Bless America

I spent my morning watching the Glen Beck rally at the Lincoln Memorial, "Honor Rally" in support of the Special Ops Warriors.  There were hundreds, no, thousands of people there, they estimated as high as 500,000.  And untold numbers were watching the live stream on Facebook and on CSPAN, where I watched it.  It was a moving and uplifting program.

It reminded me again that we often get complacent in our everyday lives, taking for granted what we have and we should be giving as well as taking.  I know I'm guilty of not giving as much as I should.  I used to volunteer and do more but the past few years I've taken a back seat.  Nothing can get done if we all do that. 

So many people find it hard to witness the miracles of our Lord and give him credit for giving us life and the many blessings we have in our lives.

A few years ago I read something, not sure where it was now or I'd post it here, but it was how we neglect God, even when we gather for a family meal.  We make room for everyone around the table, but do we remember to include him by giving thanks for the food that we are about to eat.  Many of us don't and in not doing so, we are excluding him from our meal and our lives.

The same goes when we do not thank him every day for the blessings, no matter how big or small, that he gives us.  We need to go to him when we are sad, asking that he show us the light and we can find that happiness and peace again, we need to go to him when we are troubled and the path is so dark that we cannot see the light.  But we need to ask him for guidance in finding the answer to our problems and not expect him to solve them for us.  He will help us when we ask.

We often forget to thank and to respect those who give so selfishly to serve in the military so we can keep our freedoms.  Those men and women give so much for us, even their lives if needed and they do it because they love God and they love our country.

We all need to be soldiers in a way.  We should get back to the principles of this country.  Life, Liberty and Justice for All and that All Men Are Created Equal.  We need to put God back into our schools and our lives to overcome the evils that are running rampant now. 

We need to show our colors, just as we did in 1942 when Japan attacked us, again on 9/11/2001 when another group of terrorist attacked us.  As Americans we came together to work and fight and support our troops and our country.  We need to do this every day of our lives.

I fly my flag often but I should fly it every day.  And I am going to try to remember to do that.  But I will respect it and bring it in during bad weather but the rest of the time I want my neighbors and friends to see it proudly waving from the corner of my front porch.  It will let them know that I am a proud American and I'm not afraid to show the colors that represent me and this great country.

Right now, our country is in trouble.  There is a division but it can be overcome.  Those who believe in God and believe in the right thing to do out number those who do not believe that way and it is up to us to let it be known that we are not going to accept their way of doing things.  We have to believe in what our founding fathers wrote up in the Constitution and that it be our Bible for our freedom and way of life.  We cannot let those who want power destroy it or our way of life for their benefit.  It comes down to many against the few and it is time for the many to stand up and let it be known that we are Americans and we are free and that we will not succumb to their tyranny.

Too many Pots and only 10 Fingers

You know that old saying, "got your fingers in every pot," well that is a good description of me right now.

I get all these ideas but then trying to get them all done can be over whelming and since I'm lacking some motivation right now, that makes it even worse.  But they will get done, all in good time, some faster than others as I have to get them done.

For one, I am working on a collage of all my short stories, trying to work them into a collection.  I am dividing them up so one collection will be about my animals stories only, while the other one is my more serious short stories or essays.  I still have one animal story to write and have started several times but get side tracked.  It really isn't that hard, but the information keeps changing.  It is about the cat my grandson picked out when it was a kitten and for the time being is living with his mother and her two cats.  Believe me, everyday I hear a new story about Mr. Lucky.  So I will have to choose the ones I find most appealing---in other words, the funniest ones as this cat is beyond description when it comes to funny.    I'll be talking more about Mr. Lucky again.

Second, I need to pack away all my china so I can empty the china cabinet as I want to sell it along with my overly large dining room table and six chairs.  The china is a set my husband bought in Japan while he was in the Navy so I am dividing it up between our two daughters which has always been our thought.  For now I will keep it here, but one day it will be theirs.

In doing so, I happened across some tablecloths that my mother-in-law cross stitched for us.  I thought it would make great cushioning on the bottom of the tubs for the china and the girls would have something that was their grandmother's.  However, I have more than I realized and have decided that each of my grandchildren should have a tablecloth from their great grandmother.  So I'm in the process of deciding which ones will go to which child.

Our good friends and neighbors next door are planning a large yard sale for Labor Day weekend and guess what, yes, I decided to join them.  So I will be digging out what we had left over from our last sale plus adding some new things and will cart it next door to see what more I can get rid of.

We have been waiting for the cooler weather and I need to advertise the rest of my husband's wood working equipment, so we can make room in the old work shop to store the rest of my daughter's things that are currently piled up on the enclosed front porch.  It will be quite a job to move all the boxes but at least we will be able to use the porch again and it will be safe and dry and we can lock up the building.

And while we are doing all of this, I have the old computer room to finish clearing out of boxes with paperwork that needs to be kept but not needed right now so I can paint and get it ready to set up as the sewing room, giving me more room in the craft/storage room.  It really isn't a craft room but more of a storage room as it is so small and is a place where I can keep my crafting and sewing supplies.

Once the dining room set is gone, then I can rip up the carpet, prepare the floor and lay down new tile before I move the antique kitchen cabinet and a smaller dining table in there.  The cabinet belongs to my daughter now but she has no place for it so I've been using it in my kitchen but I will move it to the dining room as a hutch storage unit later.

And now I've started a new project.  I'm only doing it while I watch TV but if it takes off, I'm afraid it may be a full time thing but will bring in some extra cash which is always good.  My daughter, Melanie, is a crafter and has had her crafts in the Made In Oklahoma Craft Mall in Tulsa for a number of years.  When she moved here last November, she closed down her booth but has decided to reopen it and the people who run the craft mall are delighted to have her back and said they would stock her shelves if she has the stock there, so she won't have to make that trip every week.  She has been busy getting things ready so we can take them up next week and set up her booth.

I decided to try selling my crocheted name doilies.  I've done this in the past and did very well.  I'm making up a sample so we can display it and will take orders.  When I set my mind to it, I crochet pretty fast so I'm sure I can keep up, but it is just another project I've taken on and will work in or around all the others I have going,.

Did I forget to say that I like to stay busy?  I do like to keep busy as I get to bored if I have nothing to do.  But sometimes I do stretch my limits.

With fall coming on, I know I'll have some outside chores that will have to be done.  We have a lot of trees on our property.  We cut over half of them down after we moved here but still have a lot left so that means a lot of leaves.  With just under an acre here, it is a large area to keep clean so will be doing a lot of raking and burning when I can.

I should realize by now that there will always be something to do or keep me busy and I really don't mind it.  Rather be busy than sitting doing nothing.  And whoever thinks that when you retire, you are free to do whatever you want when you want is wrong.  I work more and harder now than I did when I had a full time job.  But it is the way I like it.

So guess I need to get my fingers into one of these pots and get something done around here.

Lost Youth

This is one of those mornings that I wonder how I got old.  You know, the aches, pains and general malise.

I don't feel old.  In my mind I feel young and that is why it is so hard to understand why the body won't keep up.  I think scientist are off base.  They should be investigating why the body ages before the mind and then we could be forever young. 

As a youngster, I hated doing my chores only because it meant I couldn't go out to play.  Now in my older years, I still hate doing my chores because I can't go out to play.  So why does playing seem harder now?

I could run all the way home from school as a youngster, about a mile.  I might have a little side ache but it went away. Now, I wind myself if I run across the street to get the mail. 

I could ride my bike all day and never have a problem but now I'm lucky if I can keep it upright and steady enough to ride down the block.

As a teen, I could dance all day and all night and make moves that even a belly dancer would have envied.  So what happened.  Now, I feel like a board and the legs ache after one or two dances.  The feet hurt for days.  And no way can I twist and turn and squat and jump.

I can see myself in my mind and think, I can do that.  I used to do it all the time.  But when it comes down to actually doing it, something isn't working right.  Body, you have to listen to the mind and do what it says, not what you want.

As a youngster, I'd jump out of bed in the morning, ready for the new day.  I'd eat my breakfast real fast, get dressed and off I'd go to see what adventure I could find.  And it was hard to stop for lunch or let alone supper and I would stay out until bedtime.  Even then I never wanted to go to bed but I would and amazingly I did fall asleep fast.  Think it was from all the hard playing.

Now, I don't exactly jump out of bed, but I meander, first to the bathroom, even though I've been up two or three times in the night to use it, I still have the urge.  Then I make my way to the kitchen for that first cup of coffee.  That should start the old motor this morning.  Leisurely drinking my coffee, listening to the first news and weather reports of the day, I think about all I want to do.  I want to work in the garden, take a walk, do my daily chores and maybe even rake up a few leaves to get a head start.

Okay, I'm dressed but decide on a second cup of coffee and while doing that, will check my email on the computer and hit a couple of sites I visit.   I even have time for a couple of games of Solitaire.  Oops! I noticed it is almost lunch time.  Well, I'll get out this afternoon to the garden.  During my lunch break, I turned on the TV and there is that movie I've been wanting to see.  I'll watch it and then can get to my chores.

By mid afternoon, I'm asleep in my chair and wake up when the head bobs letting me know I've nodded off.  Then I have a stiff neck from being in an awkward position.  I've missed most of the movie but I feel refreshed so time to get to work.

It is to late to work in the garden, so maybe I can take a walk.  I'll do my housework later.  But first, I want to read a couple of chapters in that new book since I fell asleep to fast last night and didn't get them read.

Before I realize it, it is supper time.  So far I've been able to get up, get dressed, eat and watch some TV and even read three chapters in the book.  That is quite a day.  After supper, I'll take that walk and write out a list of things I have to do tomorrow.  While looking for a piece of paper, I come across the list for today.  Well, I'll do it all tomorrow.

As bedtime comes, I get settled in thinking about all the things I have to do but didn't get done and make a vow they would get done tomorrow.  Sleep comes easily as I've really had a hard day.  All that cooking, getting up and down to go to the bathroom, which is another problem but that is another topic, then I had to go get the mail, I watched TV, and even got some reading in.

I toss and turn as the aches and pains come back.  Get up to rub in the Aspercreme and try to settle back down.  Then it is time to get up to use the bathroom, back to bed and so it goes until dawn of the next morning and I get to do it all over again.

So why am I any different now than I was as a kid.  In my mind, I'm not but for some reason, the old motor isn't running as well as it did back then.  Maybe because now I am reTIRED.

The Electronic Age

We are truly living in an electronic age and I'm not sure that it is for the betterment.  When you look around at everything we have these days and the frenzy over people wanting to get the latest iPod or whatever it is they think they just have to have, it seems we have come to rely on electronic gadgets to run our lives.

We have television, stereos, computers, cell phones, reading devices, music players and the list goes on and on.  I'm guilty of having a television, computer and stereo plus a cell phone but have drawn the limit.  There are games and attachments for our TV's and computers so that our children and even some adults are so addicted to them, that it takes up all their free time.  They go from work or school to home to play their games, sometimes without taking a break, except maybe to eat, until their bedtime.

Now I will agree that there are some electronic devices that are good and are worth their while.   Television entertains us or keeps us updated on what is going on in the world.  Computers can be a good thing if are used correctly.  They help us keep in contact with friends and family, store information for us, gives us access to information and shopping and can also be a form of entertainment with online games or games provided with the programming.

Cell phones.  I've seen some cell phones that can do almost anything except change the oil in your car or give the dog a bath.  That is so ridiculous.  They were designed to be an aid and I have to agree the invention of the cell phone is great, but it is also a nuisance.  When people have one attached to their ear constantly, I wonder how they get anything done.  Personally, my cell phone is used for communication in case I need assistance or the occasional visit with a friend or family but it isn't attached to my ear 24 hours a day and I do not abuse it by driving and talking on it or walk around a public area talking on it.

The rest of the electronic devices I admit that I really don't know that much about and to be honest, I'm going to keep it that way.  My oldest grandson is very knowledgeable in computers and has a great job in the field and he is very knowledgeable about many of the electronic devices.  He uses them and tries to explain them to me without much success.  Guess I'm really not that interested in most of them but he is young and maybe it is part of the future.  But I still don't agree with most of it.

There is one electronic device that has ruined one sector of our lives and it is not a benefit but more of a hazard and should be eliminated.  That is the electronic reader that allows you to download books or articles to read on it at your leisure.  This is really a sore spot with me and the reason why is that it is destroying the book industry.

Our children are having enough problems with their reading skills from lack of proper education and then with something like this, I do not see any good coming from it.  True, they may be reading, but why do they have to do it in electronic form.  What is so wrong about picking up a book, newspaper, magazine or whatever and actually sitting down holding it and reading it?  We have done it for years, so why should we have to rely on an electronic device to replace it.

The argument that "well you can take it anywhere" doesn't ring true.  You can take a book anywhere too.

As a writer and publisher of real books, this doesn't set well with me.  Oh, I could go the electronic route and publish my books but for what, a measly few cents or a couple of dollars while the supplier takes the bulk of the cost.  I'm the one who has put forth the effort to write the book and why should I be content with a pittance and allow someone else to profit off of my work.

I'm not greedy.  But stop and think about it.  You make something and you plan to sell that to earn money from your labor.  But then someone comes along and says, "No, let me sell it for you.  You make it and I'll pay you this much."  Then they sell it for a large amount and they make money for your idea and work.  Is that fair?  No, I don't think so.

Well, with this electronic reader, I don't have much choice.  People are being sold on the idea so I along with many other authors have to decide if we go that route or we continue to write our "books" that sit on book shelves because people will not buy them.  Well, personally I will not go the electronic route.  I feel it is cheating the individual who will be reading my work.  They need to feel that book and see the written word on a paper page, not on some small screen.  They need to learn the value of a book.  Our libraries are filled with great books.  What is going to happen to them?

And if they aren't downloading a book to read, they are doing the next thing and that is buying a DVD to "watch".  Books are made into movies or put on audio tapes for listening.  We are producing a lazy society.

This electronic age has caused another problem as well.  In today's society, it takes both parents working to make the ends meet, so the children are left to their own devices most of the time and that is either with a TV or computer or an electronic game or device.  It has replaced the baby sitter and is denying our children the opportunity to run and play and have fun as children.  It is forcing them to grow up way to fast.

I'm not saying the electronic age is all bad as it has helped in the science field, medical field, our space exloration and the ease of our home appliances, but there needs to a line drawn when it begins to take over our lives and we are controlled by what we do and how we do it because we have to have our electronic devices to get us through the day.

On a previous blog, I talked about the dumming down of how our schools are teaching.  Perhaps we are all being dummed down in a way.  We are giving up our lives to be attached to the umbibical cord of our electronic devices.

I will continue to fight becoming a statistic and joining this revolution.  I've come a long way into this electronic age but it doesn't mean that I have to give my soul to it.  I enjoy the outdoors with walks, to hear the birds sing, to play with the cats and dogs, to visit with a neighbor or friend.  I don't want to be glued to an electronic device as the world goes around me.  I want to see it and feel it and be a part of it.

Just some thoughts.

Yesterday I went to vote in a run off election and on the way in I met a gentleman who was griping that it was for Republicans only.  True, it was a run off for two Republicans.  He seemed kind of agitated and told me, "I'm a Democrat."  I thought about him later and wondered why he had even showed up.  The newspaper and TV were saying it was only a Republican run off.  So either he didn't read or listen or just didn't pay any attention to what was going on.  He wasn't the only one as several came in only to find out that they couldn't vote in this particular election.

I think a lot of us aren't paying attention to what is going on.  We are getting complacent and thinking if it doesn't affect me, then why bother.  But eventually it will affect all of us one way or the other so we need to start paying attention.

This brings me to another thought.  I talked with my younger daughter the other day and she was telling me that my grandkids had started back to school, 8th grade, 6th grade and 3rd grade.  She is concerned and worried, which I am too, about the quality of education they are getting.  They live in a small rural community which in the past has had a so-so education system but they still had some values so the kids were learning but it sounds like that is changing.

The youngest grandson who is in 3rd grade is very good in his math skills and her concern is that next year he will have to go to a school that doesn't teach general math.  They teach AR Math.  Not sure what it means but she said the teacher, and in this case I'll use the name teacher loosely, gives each student a piece of paper with math problems and a calculator on the first day of school and tells them to do their homework.  No instruction, no working in the classroom, but they are on their own to figure out what they are to do and how to do it with a calculator. 

The two granddaughters have had this math and as they moved forward the teachers say they have to retrain the students in the basic skills of addition, subtraction and teach the times tables again. 

Why?  This is a two fold question.  Why is the teacher even allowed in the school system?  He/she isn't teaching but sure is drawing a good salary for doing nothing.  Second, Why isn't the school administration seeing that this is not the proper teaching principles and allowing it to happen?

Most people wouldn't even know this was going on.  The media never talks about it and unless you have children or grandchildren, most people wouldn't ever know that our children are not being taught the basic principles of learning.

We used to have great schools with good teachers who knew how to teach reading, writing and arithmetic as well as science and history but not in today's world.  The schools seem to try to outdo each other in building bigger and so called better buildings, larger auditoriums and ball fields.  The school year has changed so the kids start early and generally get out a little earlier.  Reasoning is supposed to be they want to be prepared for "snow" days or bad weather days.  What it really is, it is more time off for the teachers during the year.  Stop and figure up how many days are used for some sort of "break" or "meeting" or "holiday" and it is no wonder they don't teach.  They would only get started and then have a break.

The emphasis needs to be put back on the basic principles of learning.  That is what School is for.  To learn.  At least that is what I was brought up to believe it to be.  And when I went to school, we did learn the basics.  We started the day after Labor Day and got a break for Thanksgiving, Christmas, the President's days, notice I said days because we celebrated Lincoln's birthday on Feb. 12 and Washington's birthday on Feb. 22, none of this jointly birthday thing they do now.  We got a holiday for Good Friday and Easter and probably had two, maybe three teacher conference days during the school year and we finished the day before Memorial Day weekend.

So maybe we aren't paying attention or listening.  After all, we are responsible for our children and their education.  As parents we want to see them excel and do well, as grandparents we like to brag about how intelligent our grandchildren are, but can we really do that now.  I mean if you really look at what they are learning, or should I say "not" learning, are we just content with that?

We all have busy lives, but our children are our future and we need to invest some time in them as it not only affects them but will affect all of us.

When you are left alone.

As many of you know I lost my husband in January of 2010.  We knew he was very ill but his death was still unexpected and it left me alone with a lot of unanswered questions and problems that came up.

I've been thinking about that alot lately and after going through this experience, I wanted to share those thoughts.  We never want to think about a loved one leaving us, but it does happen and perhaps this might give you some thoughts that will help you through that dark period.

I was very fortunate that in our over 48 years of marriage, my husband shared so much with me.  We worked side by side on remodeling projects and building projects so I at least knew what a crescent wrench was from a pair of needle nosed pliers and I also learned how to operate the drill and skill saw, although I did shy away from his big shop equipment, I would watch and he explained how it all worked.  I also knew the value and purpose of his equipment so now I can sell it and know that someone can't take advantage of me.

He showed me the basic skills I would need in home repair or minor building.  He showed me how to sand and paint.  He showed me how to replace hoses and don't laugh as I know a woman who really didn't know how to hook up her hose.  He showed me and allowed me to help him in so many things that I feel fortunate that I am able to take care of our home.

He also showed me how to run our riding mower and towards the end of his illness it was a good thing since he was unable to do it.  I know how to use the weed trimmer and recently learned how to wind the line on it.

I was faced with some large repair problems that I had to make decisions on and again I relied on the know how he had given me.  When our power went out, I checked all the breaker boxes and the one fuse box but still couldn't find the cause.  I did call in a neighbor who discovered that my breaker box had burned out two of the breakers and damaged the other two.  He was able to repair it for me.  I had to pay him of course but I at least knew that he wasn't telling me something just to make money.  I actually saw the damage so I knew what he was talking about. 

Then shortly thereafter my air conditioning unit went out.  I knew who to call as he had always called one company.  I trusted them and found out that lightning had struck at one time and it is probably what took out my electric box but couldn't verify that.  However, after a long battle with the insurance company, I was able to get the air conditioning unit replaced.

I had to replace our kitchen sink and again called on a neighbor friend but still ended up calling a plumber to finish it.  However, I watched and knew what was going on.  Now, I'm waiting to have an outside faucet repaired and only because it is old and I don't have the strength to remove the broken handle or I would do it myself.

My oldest daughter had moved here last fall to be with us to help with her dad and the fact that she had lost her job and her home and had no place to go.  She lives in a travel trailer next to our house.  They hooked up the electric, the water and the sewer lines.  But all winter, we fought the freezing of the hose that was hooked up for the water and even into spring when the hoses would swell and burst.  I got the idea to make it a more permanent water line by using pvc pipe.  With the help of a friend who basically backed up what I told him I wanted to do and showed us a few tips, my daughter and I installed a pvc line from the faucet to her trailer and there are no leaks, no breaks and we will insulate it this winter so she will be able to have water all winter instead of carting it as she did last year.

I think my husband would have come up with this very idea had he been here and I give him credit for giving me the knowledge that there was a way to make the water line a more permanent solution. 

Our next project is the sewer line as a friend installed it and there are problems.  We have figured out what we have to do and when it is cooler, my daughter, grandson and I will be installing a new line.  We have the confidence that we can do this and we will.

They may be small things but to some, they would be costly repairs.  There were times when my husband would tell me something and I would only half listen as I thought, "this is his job and I'll never have to do it."  I was wrong.  Now, I do have to do it.  There is no one to tell me how unless I hire it done or ask a friend and after a while even a good friend will think you are using them and not be quite as helpful as they were in the past.  So I am grateful that my husband did talk to me and show me things and how to do them even if I didn't pay that much attention, it is coming back to me now when I'm faced with a problem.

I had neighbors who wanted to help but they would do something on their own without asking and maybe it wasn't what I wanted done or how I would do it.  I didn't want to hurt their feelings as I knew they were trying to be helpful but sometimes it is better to ask a person before jumping in and doing something.  One neighbor mows his lawn so short that it is almost scalped and my husband always told me to leave it longer to protect it when it was hot and dry.  I know he was upset when I told him I didn't want him to cut my grass.  Besides I have my own mower and my daughter and I can do it ourselves, the way I want it done.

There was another reason I wanted to write this.  A neighbor is in the hospital right now and his wife is spending all her time at his bedside which is wonderful, however, I am afraid that should something happen, she will be lost.  Not only in her grief but lost in what to do to keep living in their home.  She has never done any yard work except plant some flowers and a garden and he did all the prep work.  She has watered but never mowed, fertilized or taken care of anything.  They built their home and he did the work.  She had no idea of what to do.

It made me think of all the women out there who allow their husband's to do "man work" while they take care of the house and prepare the meals.  We have to know man work whether we can do it or not.  We still have to know about it and know what needs to be done before we can proceed in doing it ourselves or hiring it done or even have a friend help out.

When cooler weather gets here, I'll be ripping out carpet and laying down a new tile floor.  I learned how to lay floors years ago so I know I can do it.  I've helped my husband take up carpet so again I know what has to be done and what preparation to the floor will be required.  The same way with the steps inside.  The carpet is going and I have no idea of what is under it but I will take care of it.  I have too. 

I've also learned how to take care of my car too.  That was another thing I learned not only from my husband but from his father years ago when I got my first car while he was in the Navy.  I know how to check the fluid levels and add if needed, I've learned how to recharge the a/c unit if it needs it and I know to take it in for the maintenance.  I have even learned how to operate our air compressor and fill the portable tank to air a tire that is low.

I knew how to hook up the charger for our golf cart but during his illness and the middle of winter, the cart was overlooked and I did have to rely on a good friend to help me get the batteries charged back up and now I can keep it that way.  I have one tire that I constantly monitor and have to air it up every so often but I can and I do.  I'm going to have to remove a seat to replace the foam and covering because our dog decided to play with it and tore it up.  Again, I know how as we'd had it reupholstered and I helped him remove and then replace the seats.  It might be a small thing but unless you've done it, you might not even know where to begin.

There are some things I will not be able to do and will have to hire someone but for the most part I feel that I can do just about anything that needs to be done around here.  It isn't hard and you may think it is boring but if you ever need to know, you will find out how important it really is.

And the worst part is that your loved one isn't there to do it or even advise you.  It makes it hard when the decision is all yours but if I can do it, then you can too.  So learn all you can, whether you do it or not makes no difference as long as you know how to do it and you know what is required for the job.  I hope that you might have got something from this.  It's amazing what comes up that you never think about or just knew that it would be taken care of and then all of a sudden, there is no one but you.

There is one more thing.  Know all about your finances and bills.  Some women never have to bother with this part of the marriage and it can be intimidating once you are faced with finances and what to do with your checking or savings or other financial aspects.  Paying bills, balancing a checkbook and living on a budget.  My income went down drastically which also caused a sudden lifestyle change for me.  I now have to budget so I have enough to pay the bills, buy gas for the car and groceries.  True I've cut back on the gas as I don't go much and I have cut back on the groceries but they are still expenses that I have.  I have to plan ahead for the unexpected.  The property taxes, or quarterly insurance payments.  I was able to transfer one of my husband's credit cards over to my name so I can continue to at least have one in case of an emergency.  It took over three months to contact everyone that had to be contacted and even now I still received notices that I have to advise that he is gone.  I thought I knew a lot of this stuff but I have found out that there was a lot I didn't know too.

I know this is rather long and I've probably forgotten some things but sit down and discuss what would happen if one or the other of you suddenly were gone.  It is a good thing for the husband to know about his wife's affairs too.  I hope that no one has to face this but it is a part of life and it happens so we need to be prepared.